Imagine the scenario: After Boise State pulled out the HUGE win against top ten Va. Tech on a Monday Night in front of a national audience, they are no longer a secret and have a legit shot at a national title, Michigan looks good again early and Ohio State has to play them, Alabama has to go through the SEC and the SEC championship, could Boise State finish the season #1? What if the SEC champion has 2 losses like in 2007 and Ohio State loses to Michigan with Iowa losing to Wisconsin? Does that mean our National Championship game could be a battle between the undefeated titans of Boise State and TCU? This is a plausible scenario with both teams being ranked in the top 4 right now. The BCS could be in some trouble.
This is why the victory of Boise State called to order a meeting of the Coalition of Collegiate Rulers and Overlords. This Coalition consists of the Old Guard: Steve Spurrier, Joe Paterno, Bobby Bowden, Mack Brown, Mike Tranghese, and Woody Hayes’ frozen head given life like an old character from Futurama; the New Guard: Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, Les Miles, Bob Stoops, Jim Tressel, and John Swofford. Through an unnamed source, I have obtained the mintues to this meeting and the minutes state the meeting went as follows:
Mike Tranghese: Alright, I officially call this meeting of the Coalition Collegiate Rulers and Overlords to order. We have two orders of business today: Boise State and Reggie Bush’s Heisman trophy for which Mike Garrett has been invited to speak on, but first – Boise State. Coach Stoops has the most experience with BSU, so Bob, I invite you to speak.
Bob Stoops: Alright, I’m gonna cut right to the chase, we can’t let BSU get up and emabarrass the BCS anymore than it already has. They’ve won more BCS games than 90% of BCS schools and they beat my team 3 years ago. Their ability to get more out of their “lesser” players and use of trick plays in incourageable. My conference has already reprimanded Dan Hawkins for creating this program by forcing his current program to leave and making him start his own son at QB. Regardless, BSU cannot be allowed to continue, we have to do something.
MT: Woddy Hayes’s head would like to speak.
Woody Hayes’ Head: This cannot be allowed to continue! I did not punch someone in the face and commit NCAA double violations so that a team like BSU could come up and win a National Title. Did anybody see George Mason in the Final Four in basketball? Who liked that? Nobody cared or was even interested in GMU that year, I will not have this happen to the sport I love.
Urban Meyer: I take partial responsibility for this because of what I did at Utah, however, I have help pay back by winning two NC’s for Florida and the BCS in recent years. While I still feel like I’m at fault I will take a leave of absence this offseason for “personal reasons.”
MT: Thank you for that show of solidarity, but it doesn’t help the problem this year.
Steve Spurrier: Hey ya’ll, I propose we have Virginia Tech lose to a really bad team, then ain’t nobody will think they all that good and BSU won’t look no good neither. Hooo-weee!
WHH: By golly Spurrier that is a phenomenal idea, if I still had hands I’d punch you.
Nick Saban: ….I agree, I don’t want to play this team.
MT: Alright, call to vote, all in favor of having Va. Tech lose to their opponent this week James Madison University, say “I”
All in unison: “I!!
MT: It is settled, somebody get me the phone I need to call Frank Beamer. Once I’m done with my phone call we will talk about Reggie Bush’s Heisman, everybody be thinking of ways we can make this look like it’s all his fault and not us as coaches and the NCAA exploiting these kids for all their worth.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how it happened*
*Please note that I made all of this up entirely.
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